But What About Socialization?!?

One of the biggest myths about homeschooling (that was a huge barrier to me even considering it initially) is that "homeschool kids aren't properly socialized." If you decide to homeschool, you will hear all too often, "But what about socialization!?!?" Incredulous friends and relatives will grill you. They will ask you about strange kids they've seen on the annual Scripps Spelling Bee, "reality" TV or documentaries. The fact is homeschoolers tend to be very well socialized!

Instead of being grouped together by age, which usually leads to "Lord of the Flies" or "Mean Girls" behavior; our kids meet people of all ages through their various interests and hobbies. They help younger children and learn from older children, they have mentors from many different backgrounds, and they become very good at finding common ground with just about anyone. They also have an instant "village" that understands them. No matter your religious beliefs or lack there of, socioeconomic status, or approach, you will instantly bond with many families simply because you're out-of-the-box thinkers that chose to homeschool! It's the ultimate icebreaker!

When I first considered homeschooling, I asked a lovely woman I met through a mutual friend the question I dread now, "But what about those weird Spelling Bee Kids I saw on TV in the 90's and in documentaries?" That's when the epiphany happened! She said, "Did it occur to you that they were homeschooled because they were that way in the first place?"

The angels sang, light broke through from the heavens, horns sounded and my entire worldview was rocked to it's core. You see, my child has Aspergers. This makes him wonderful, unique, creative, and a lot of fun, but it can also make him a target for bullies. In his private "traditional" school, he was starting to feel like a problem child because he had trouble sitting still and was bored. Some of the kids delighted in irritating him and then took pleasure in his getting into trouble for getting up and moving away from them. This bright, outgoing, loving child was starting to feel like he was "less than" and I wasn't ready for the world to beat the joy, curiosity, light, and life out of my 6 year old. 

His teacher wasn't making the accommodations that the school had promised and scolded him for things they had assured us were acceptable (being allowed to go sit in a quiet spot in the classroom away from the other kids if sensory issues overwhelmed him, being allowed to have a "fidget" to keep his hands busy when he had to sit still for long periods). She also wasn't communicating well, so he'd get in trouble daily for something that could easily be fixed if I knew about it and I wouldn't hear about it until weeks or even months later. Last year the teacher would send a quick email if there were problems so we could talk about it and practice behaviors and coping strategies at home that would be more acceptable in school. In first grade he was just made to feel that something was wrong with him for not being able to do things that were impossible for a 6 yr old with Aspergers without specifically being taught and practicing with an adult one on one first.

With Skype, the internet, public libraries, programs at museums, message boards, homeschool co-ops, field trips, and just showing up for homeschool park days, you will find plenty of people for your kids to play with. Trips to the grocery store or farmer's market become leisurely learning experiences. There is extra time to join a community theater, play sports, take art classes, music lessons, and Lego Robotics hobby clubs. People organize physical education groups so the kids can take the Presidential Physical Fitness test just like public school kids. There are also a ton of field trip opportunities organized through co-ops, message boards, and park day play groups. It's sort of like being on a very educational permanent "stay-cation." They get all of the extracurricular activities (and more) that public school kids do without feeling over scheduled. There is also plenty of time for day trips.

That friend (who also has children on the Autism Spectrum) gave us the gift of knowing that we could at least give this a try. It wasn't an irreversible decision, there are no educational emergencies, and at worst the year long trial was going to be a fun opportunity for travel, mornings cuddled in bed reading favorite books instead of rushing to get ready for school, and the flexibility to teach my son at his ability level (which is well above grade level in all but writing).

We were already spending hours a day in 1st grade doing homework he hated, I was already homeschooling him in a sense! Wouldn't it be better to use an approach that worked for him so he would enjoy learning? Hadn't I taught him the alphabet, to read, how to write his name, the colors, etc. through everyday life before he began formal schooling?

The decision was made to give homeschooling a 1 year trial and so far we are loving every minute! He is learning so much and actually enjoying it! He's now asking to do things he hated when he was in school and learning so much faster in much less time. This is the best decision we've ever made!